urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems (kill me now) Mikems 2008-05-12T14:00:15Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:358045 2008-05-12T14:00:15Z 2008-05-12T14:00:15Z job i need I say<br />ehf urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:357817 2008-05-10T16:15:28Z 2008-05-10T16:15:28Z Finnally the last grade is In<br />Results<br /><br />PhI 490 Philosophy Senior Seminar<br /><br />4.0<br /><br />PhI 344 20th centuary Philosophy<br /><br />4.0<br /><br />Phi 244 Medieval Philosophy<br /><br />4.0<br /><br />Art History<br /><br />3.0 =(<br /><br />lol<br /><br />3 A's and a B<br />not terrible...<br />however, Art History was the easiest of my four classes... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:357629 2008-05-08T03:59:08Z 2008-05-08T03:59:08Z ...that there is a heart here in this my body of mine<br />that beats to the rythem of a this life.<br /><br />That my blood flows through vains and to my eyes... <br />That I can see and sense <br /><br />When you stomp on me as if I am not anyone, you stomp on my heart.<br />To let you know what you have done to me; Imagine erasing your memory; everything you ever lived for . Every dream you ever had; imagine forgetting the names of all those who are important. Imagine, seeing your mother and not knowing you know her.<br /><br />This is what you have done to me.<br /><br />I was just a boy and you made me nobody<br />I was nice, I thought you were divine; I used to like you. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:357354 2008-05-07T04:37:54Z 2008-05-07T04:37:54Z Flippen Girls<br /><br />Why are so many girls talented at not saying what they mean<br /><br />Yet<br />they mean everything they say...<br /><br />they speak in code and get pissed when nobody understands them.<br /><br />I used to be the nice guy<br />I used to be sympathetic<br /><br />but I played their games too often<br /><br />it is their own fault.<br />Why don't they wake up from that fucking dream of theirs<br /><br />life is so much simpilar.<br />Deal with life;<br />the real life. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:356883 2008-04-29T19:43:57Z 2008-04-29T19:43:57Z Yester... final and small paper = good<br />today... big paper =mediocre<br />tommorow... big paper = bad<br />thursday... neglected art history work = terrible.<br /><br />Two days left... 48 hours of tantric hell urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:356654 2008-04-28T18:22:31Z 2008-04-28T18:22:31Z Maybe I am the one. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:356423 2008-04-26T14:45:36Z 2008-04-26T14:45:36Z i sit vacantly; I admire that abdominal pain; that ache. That Gut wrenching thirst that spews out from the source and spreads about the mind like water. In the air is a facade, held high and suspended without judgment. It was bracketed. Yet I know that facades can be quite endearing; I know that marble can be carved into ancient dreams; I know that answers appear to form only to dissapate and crumble like our friend dorypherous. Poor fellow is he who believed to know the solution. Poor fellow is he who exists at all. It is troublesome that people are coerced into living; breathing. A fear of death, a fear of pain; there is a fear of the terminous that keeps us alive; and yet we know we can only make it so far before dasien leaves our body and is inaccessible to this world. And yet, their is those of us among us who can't stand the pain of life. Through estimation they assume that dasien cannot be any more tortured in any state. They like a wholly man take a leap of faith into death. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:356170 2008-04-24T13:27:25Z 2008-04-24T13:27:25Z The weather has a nact for personofying my day urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:355923 2008-04-23T15:46:37Z 2008-04-23T15:46:37Z behind my eyes is a fountain.<br />I blink in swishing water, you can feel the moist thundery percipitation.<br />I dream of dreams. I know what I am suppose to believe... but If I don't believe that, how am I supposed to know that I am supposed to believe anything?<br /><br />Everyone is stubborn. World views are like concreted driveways; anyone who has replaced a concrete driveway knows exactly what I mean. It takes a ton of work to crack a drive way into pieces... and even more work to pick up all the pieces and haul it off... further, it does no good to simply remove your world view, another one has to take its place. That old cement sits in the corner of our minds stubbornly... we know its cracked but we ignore it.<br /><br />We pretend it has no cracks because it has a degree of utility... but we aren't fooling anyone. We know its cracked. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:355710 2008-04-22T15:03:55Z 2008-04-22T15:03:55Z why isn't the Art history Assignments POSTED!<br /><br />I was intending to go to MIA today... but i couldn't get the assignments ... bleh.<br />Now I know what I am doing on thursday when I should be preparing for my 45 minute presentation. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:355525 2008-04-21T19:46:06Z 2008-04-21T19:46:06Z When i look I see... but I don't see what you would expect... I see the shape I see the intent... Then I see my own dillusion.<br /><br />One could imagine a sexually interested man trying to undress a naked girl with his eyes, only to realize that the girl is naked and thus undressed; perplexed he scrambles for certainty in his discontent and uses his eyes to redress the girl. But the girl is naked for him intentfully; it is a shocking humility for him to realize the girl knows his bestiality to the point where he yearns for nothing more then it to be false. <br /><br />There is something we assume intimate to ourself... not just in sex; but in all desire... and really all cognition... and yet, what we think, vs what we think about is striking. What is worse is when we think about what we think about. There is a disconnectedness with the throbbing authenticity that we desire... the freedom that literature has created, the reality is not the excitement, the hype. It is constant perplexity; it is perplexity when things happen as imagined and when thinks don't happen as imagined. One cannot cope with the literal reinactment of his dreams. <br /><br />And yet it is not the fault of his naked mistress that he has reached such a dillema; though she has a dillema of her own, a certain risk; her fiesty boldness... that animal drive; the guess of what is in his mind; and yet she almost has it nitched to certitude. Little does she know it is all perfect; too perfect. As if the Man is driven to a state of imperfection; that he cannot handle the virtue. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:355266 2008-04-21T15:23:29Z 2008-04-21T15:23:29Z seriously... I am distracted. I have too much homework to do... And I would rather be doing other things... sigh urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:354983 2008-04-18T13:10:08Z 2008-04-18T13:10:08Z I am pissed off... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:354566 2008-04-16T19:52:47Z 2008-04-16T19:52:47Z For someone who can not see that there is an existence of a god, I am more morally christian than many people who do believe in the christian God.<br /><br />Morals do not need to be founded in divine doctrine; they ultimately are pregmatic to the individual...<br /><br />But if you are so short cited as to see that moral obligation doesn't bennifet you some how with or with out god then I hope you do take the bible as truth... despite the absurdity of the narrative...<br /><br />Don't think you have the answer, their are always an infinite of alternatives. My answers will always be in flux. 2+2 doesn' =4<br />2+2 = 1+1+1+1<br />you might say well both of those are equal... and yet they have a specific use at specific times... in fact 2+2= an infinite amount of things... and you can't verify them all... but 2+2=4 and it doesn't =4... fuck you law of non-contradiction.<br /><br />perhaps im being fissiperous here...<br />but as soon as you camp your feet in religion you ultimatley close off a section of the web of your belief...<br />you might not think so but its ther...<br />utltimatley I have this same problem, and Because of that problem I can see it. Just something sounds self-defeating or hypocritical does not mean it is false... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:354331 2008-04-16T13:46:33Z 2008-04-16T13:46:33Z I am the lightbulb gone out<br />watching raging wind that fell to silence.<br />I become the sound of rain drops without any clouds<br />like the baby my mother never had.<br />I am a dream you never dreamed.<br /><br />I am the howl without the wolf<br />echoing into the moonful strata.<br />I dream about the thing we call nothing<br />like blankness without its slate<br />I am aimless and yet hoplessly hopeful. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:354249 2008-04-15T13:31:32Z 2008-04-15T13:31:32Z I have a couple weeks of crap flying at me and then it is over...<br />I have no motivation<br />I just have too much...<br /><br />Papers on <br />Citizenship responsibility<br />Count Giovanni Pico Della Marandola<br />St. Thomas Aquinas<br />Nicholas of Cusa<br />Then bigger Paper on Pico<br />Boethius<br />St. Augustine...<br /><br />Im just overwhelmed.<br /><br />Now its nice outside...<br />Such cruelty! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:353955 2008-04-14T13:32:28Z 2008-04-14T13:32:28Z well today is something sunny; I hope that means something good.<br />I got to get my mind on track...<br />two weeks of classes left and then finals. I need to get serious...<br />but gosh the weather is starting to get nice...<br />the weather sits out there and taunts me.<br />I can picture a personofied sun smiling at me through thelibrary windows<br />And yet i know i can't leave... not for the good of grades. <br />If only there were a way of doing the last part ofspring semester first, then I might ofbeen allright.<br /><br />Its time to leave... The sun wants me to leave... myheartleft long ago... so against my will I stayout of necescity. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:353681 2008-04-11T17:55:24Z 2008-04-11T17:55:24Z I keep waiting for someone to know me.<br />Yet I know they can only know about me. <br />Noone can know me.<br /><br />Noone can understand the person I am, everyone has some image of me... partial truhs at best.<br /><br />Will anyone ever want to know me? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:353431 2008-04-11T13:17:06Z 2008-04-11T13:17:06Z today is going to be hell. It is dreary and raining. I got zero minutes of sleep. My homework is over whelming. My family might loose the house. I have 3 classes... and no alacrity. Does anyone know what its like to think about homework, and paper writing when you don't even know if you really have a home anymore?<br /><br />I think it sucks. Then again I am a horrible person. Maybe I deserve it. Maybe. <br /><br />One of these days people will se what I am doing, they will understand.<br />But for now I am myself. Alone and selfish, determined and free.<br /><br />Fuck life and all these selfish people.<br />what claim should the bank have to mortgaged property?<br />sigh urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:353270 2008-04-10T16:01:59Z 2008-04-10T16:01:59Z i have no clue what I am supposed to be writing about giovanni pico della marandola... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:352791 2008-04-10T13:34:44Z 2008-04-10T13:34:44Z the problem is this.<br /><br />people our age have been too currupted. Atleast when we were naive we thought we were being objectivie. Well some of us still think that way.What occurs wh you are aware of the subjectivity...<br /><br />everyone can do nothing right <br />the world is seen through these eyes of mine<br />this world is being seen through these eyes of yours...<br /><br />our eyes are not the same... thus, either is the world. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:352535 2008-04-09T13:31:37Z 2008-04-09T13:31:37Z so,we might end up losing our house.<br />Apparently, two years ago when we bought the house we had a terms agreement that said we have to refinance our house in two years.<br /><br />Well two years has gone by, our mortgage payments have all been made.<br />The problem is this.<br /><br />Because of the housing market, despite all the improvements we have made to the house, our house is not worth as much as it was when we bought it.<br /><br />We have to refinance our house, but no bank is willing to give us a loan for as much as we bought the house for because the house isn't worth that much anymore.Unless we can find a bank to give us a mortgage for how much we bought it for and not for how much its worth we have until the end of the month to pay off the house in full... which isn'thappening. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:352284 2008-04-08T17:51:52Z 2008-04-08T17:51:52Z I have to do a presentation in a little while.<br />I am denying that there is a common good.<br />everyone is just a bunch of selfish bastards...<br /><br />I don't say that lightly... everything you ever intended was meant to make your life better despite the consequences.<br /><br />You only consider the consequences when you know it could make your life worse...<br /><br />thus everything you have ever intended was selfish.<br /><br />Be a narcisit all you want... but it is not true that all people desire the same things as you do. It is not true that the things you find good are common with anyone. you are particular...<br /><br />But in particular your self-ish.<br />even your niceness and altruism is for your own ends... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:352117 2008-04-08T15:06:59Z 2008-04-08T15:06:59Z F Sht urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:mikems:351757 2008-04-02T13:51:56Z 2008-04-02T13:51:56Z The thing called Love is embedded in the individual and not among multiple individuals. Rather, it is about individuals. In fact, it is the aboutness that the thing called love manifests itself in. <br /><br />For any one thing you have called love, the questions why do you love and what about the thing do you love are necessarily begged. <br /><br />I thought I loved her because of her intelligence, her beauty and her cheery personality... but then I realized what I loved was intelligence, beauty and cheery personalities and not her. What is more telling is that, when I came to not have anymore emotional attachment for her, I realized it was because I questioned whether she was that smart, whether she was that beautiful, or whether her personality was actually cheery. That getting over her is exactly the opposite prospects of creating this thing called love. <br /><br />It seems to be within the capacity of an individual to justify their relationships by identifying qualities in which appeal to themselves. Thus, when we ask why I loved her, or what I loved about her, I am presupposing natural justifications for a relationship when in fact a relationship might utterly be unjustifiable in a rational sense. And yet, it is not without reason; but if the reason is caused irrationally or intuitively then it is insufficient to rationalize any word or definition about the thing we label love. But this does not mean the reason is necessarily a good reason, a loving reason, or a justifiable reason. It is simply the causes of mutual interest that are above or perhaps are below the artificial justifications of qualities. Thus, many people are prone to engage in social relations with other people, many people are prone to commitment with other people and people are prone to engage in sexual activity with other people; but none of this can be justified; it simply occurs out of instinct and particularity of encumbered individuals. Thus, it is false to think it needs to be justified and that it needs to be called love for without the word love it remains whatever it is insofar as it is a phenomenon that occurs.